OK it's Monday night but am going to do this blog whether my life depended on it!
SMELLY TRAMP!!!
Yep, there was a real smelly tramp on the bus and he was pungent, we are talking stale PISS! The guy came on the bus and people actually had to get off the bus man it was that bad. This being Birmingham and the society that we currently live in there had to be one guy that had to speak up and make it know to people there was a smelly tramp on the bus like we didn't know for ourselves.
Anyway the guy has to speak up loud and say
"Man you f*cking smelly tramp get off the bus, you making people feel sick! You f*cking tramp"
Now imaging that in a Slang/rude boy accent lol. That's how he was saying it and if that wasn't bad. More people started saying sh*t to the guy and what I thought was quite embarrassing for the guy random stranger's started to spray the guy with lynx etc. The tramp actually stood there and let people spray him.
Man where is this guy's self respect to not let himself get to this stage. Even though his a tramp and people are well aware of this should people do this to a guy who smells so bad?
RELIGION vs MEAT
OK this may offend a fair few people! SO WARNING RIGHT NOW, I MAY OFFEND YOU WITH MY OPINIONS!!!
Well as you may know my mom is currently in hospital and therefore me and my sister have to fend for ourselves lol.
Well I've bought food and in the items I bought SAUSAGES and BACON. As you must all be aware these are PORK!!!!
I found out today that if I cook this my sister will not eat these. Do you know why because she hangs round with Asian people that do not eat pork. This is coming from a girl that spits on my door when angry and does not follow any religion!
OK this baffled me but got me thinking OK seeing as we are fending for ourselves would you avoid having to eat pork????!!!!
I respect all religion's out there but no matter how sacred an animal is to you are you willing to sacrifice your health for an animal? When your body clearly needs meat and vegetable to survive, that's how your body is made. I know people have the option to pick and choose what animal to eat but in some countries you don't have the luxury to eat whatever. So sometimes you may have to eat something that you may have never thought you would eat in a million year's.
Is it ignorant not to care for your own well being than to continually avoid a specific animal and starve yourself until that beloved meat that you can eat lands on your plate?
At the end of the day it is survival of the fittest.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s Have I caused a stir? If I have YES!!! and think about it before moaning at me!!
Monday, 23 March 2009
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Staying in an A & E, and looking for a shoe!
Oi Oi People it's Sunday night, Slightly later than usual. For that reason alone I'm keeping it short!
Yep I stayed in A & E
I had to take my mum dues to her being ill at the moment. Man you get all sorts in A & E and as it was a Friday night you had pissed up people and bloody guys who had been in a fight. I thought working in retail you get slightly quirky characters but A&E is the place to be if you want to see Crazy's!
One things for sure trying to sleep in A&E is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I've stayed in a train station. Now I sound like I love the HOBO lifestyle lol. But you try sleeping on a plastic chair in the ward and if not try the metal cold chairs in the waiting room. It's like trying to go sleep on your toilet!!!
So what do you do when you need a shoe with the most vague description ever?
That's the situation I had today and in many other occasions. The woman had a piece of paper giving me the description here's what it said:
Black Fred Perry Leather
How vague do you want to be? lol OK let's go through this step by step how to narrow down a shoe description:
1. Well its black (that's a start)
2. The make is Fred Perry (OK got a brand name)
3. Its made of leather (didn't realize leather is common in SHOES!!!)
That's as vague as me saying this is what I look like
I have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth. O yeah black eye browns. By the way my name is James!
Is that Vague?!
I know the customer probably doesn't know shoe details etc but maybe if you brought in a picture or showed me something similar that would probably help.
That's all from Observation James
:-)
p.s Next weeks might be slightly delayed but do not fret!!!
Yep I stayed in A & E
I had to take my mum dues to her being ill at the moment. Man you get all sorts in A & E and as it was a Friday night you had pissed up people and bloody guys who had been in a fight. I thought working in retail you get slightly quirky characters but A&E is the place to be if you want to see Crazy's!
One things for sure trying to sleep in A&E is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I've stayed in a train station. Now I sound like I love the HOBO lifestyle lol. But you try sleeping on a plastic chair in the ward and if not try the metal cold chairs in the waiting room. It's like trying to go sleep on your toilet!!!
So what do you do when you need a shoe with the most vague description ever?
That's the situation I had today and in many other occasions. The woman had a piece of paper giving me the description here's what it said:
Black Fred Perry Leather
How vague do you want to be? lol OK let's go through this step by step how to narrow down a shoe description:
1. Well its black (that's a start)
2. The make is Fred Perry (OK got a brand name)
3. Its made of leather (didn't realize leather is common in SHOES!!!)
That's as vague as me saying this is what I look like
I have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth. O yeah black eye browns. By the way my name is James!
Is that Vague?!
I know the customer probably doesn't know shoe details etc but maybe if you brought in a picture or showed me something similar that would probably help.
That's all from Observation James
:-)
p.s Next weeks might be slightly delayed but do not fret!!!
Monday, 9 March 2009
No pounds coins and One Trampy Sister
Hi all I know it's not quite Sunday evening more like Monday afternoon. Didn't do the blog last night as I was shattered man plus was busy showing my mate the wisdom's of Facebook.
Anyhow for your weekly dose of retail:
No POUND coins!
That is exactly what the bank had said to the store when we needed change. Man when you heard there was a recession on you would at least think the bank would have pound coins. Or maybe due to panic people go out in there numbers and ask for their money specifically in pound coins. When my colleague told me the bank had no pound coins I was thinking,
O my there's gonna be a whole wide panic, front page news:
Bank has no POUND COINS!!!!!
OK that's slightly far fetched but you would think, come on you gotta have pound coins. There's nothing worse than having to give a customer a load of ten pence pieces and then say
"sorry we have no pound coins"
It's like putting in a shower and saying
"Sorry there is no water"
then having to substitute it with bottles of Volvic for a wash in the morning or going down the local gym for a wash.
NOW ONE TRAMPY SISTER
I wasn't going to write about this as I didn't know what to write about but due to my sister being a tosser this morning this deserves to be put in blog form and maybe a lil animation that I will make. Anyway that lil Bit*h (OK you probably sense hatred here, for people that know me they will understand. But who don't I CAN'T STAND HER) flipped out this morning at my mom for some gay reason and I said dickhead. Somehow she heard that from downstairs and flipped out even more calling me all sorts. Anyway after she left I went downstairs and when I came back to my room she did the most TRAMPY thing ever. That's right.......
SHE SPAT ON MY DOOR!!!!!
What kind of person does that, man it pissed me off so much there's nothing worse than spit for all I know there could be the bad aids in that bit of spit. To think she will be 18 this month and she calls me an Immature Prick, but with observations like these I think shes the prick!!!!
that's all from observation James
:-)
p.s sorry if I went over the top with my sister there BUT IT NEEDED TO BE SAID!!
p.p.s you can see this F*cker on facebook her name is KARAN MCMULLAN!!!!
Anyhow for your weekly dose of retail:
No POUND coins!
That is exactly what the bank had said to the store when we needed change. Man when you heard there was a recession on you would at least think the bank would have pound coins. Or maybe due to panic people go out in there numbers and ask for their money specifically in pound coins. When my colleague told me the bank had no pound coins I was thinking,
O my there's gonna be a whole wide panic, front page news:
Bank has no POUND COINS!!!!!
OK that's slightly far fetched but you would think, come on you gotta have pound coins. There's nothing worse than having to give a customer a load of ten pence pieces and then say
"sorry we have no pound coins"
It's like putting in a shower and saying
"Sorry there is no water"
then having to substitute it with bottles of Volvic for a wash in the morning or going down the local gym for a wash.
NOW ONE TRAMPY SISTER
I wasn't going to write about this as I didn't know what to write about but due to my sister being a tosser this morning this deserves to be put in blog form and maybe a lil animation that I will make. Anyway that lil Bit*h (OK you probably sense hatred here, for people that know me they will understand. But who don't I CAN'T STAND HER) flipped out this morning at my mom for some gay reason and I said dickhead. Somehow she heard that from downstairs and flipped out even more calling me all sorts. Anyway after she left I went downstairs and when I came back to my room she did the most TRAMPY thing ever. That's right.......
SHE SPAT ON MY DOOR!!!!!
What kind of person does that, man it pissed me off so much there's nothing worse than spit for all I know there could be the bad aids in that bit of spit. To think she will be 18 this month and she calls me an Immature Prick, but with observations like these I think shes the prick!!!!
that's all from observation James
:-)
p.s sorry if I went over the top with my sister there BUT IT NEEDED TO BE SAID!!
p.p.s you can see this F*cker on facebook her name is KARAN MCMULLAN!!!!
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Do you have a spare Mattress?
How could I forget!
Thursday night full of dreams and excitement, staying at the F1 hotel the Best(worst) place on Earth how often do you get a guy knocking on your room asking if you have a spare mattress. Then using that as a way to try and chat up some women. Firstly why do you need the mattress and secondly that ain't no way to whoo the ladies lol.
Don't forget to read my blog just below I had to write this!!!!
Observation James
:-)
p.s READ READ READ BELOW!!!!
Thursday night full of dreams and excitement, staying at the F1 hotel the Best(worst) place on Earth how often do you get a guy knocking on your room asking if you have a spare mattress. Then using that as a way to try and chat up some women. Firstly why do you need the mattress and secondly that ain't no way to whoo the ladies lol.
Don't forget to read my blog just below I had to write this!!!!
Observation James
:-)
p.s READ READ READ BELOW!!!!
Busting Moves and Slurring Words
Not much to write this week went out on Thursday, this was the highlight of my week and that's right from the title you guessed it I got drunk.
Can't really write too much on the night apart from having too many £1 bottles of Foster's is clinically proven to damage your health, with the LIVER first thing coming to my mind. Well when your out in the club people do tend to bust a move or 2 especially once they drunk. Is this the secret of a world class dancer, an undeniable secret source of confidence. Or just an excuse to bust them moves and not think about looking like a complete tosser?
Well being in a club full of binge drinkers (I include myself here) there is bound to be one person who thinks they are the next Micheal Jackson or your local football pub team cheerleader. Better yet your newest erotic dancer at your local pub turned strip club
"The Hound and Whore"
(that's just a made up pub/erotic club)
Anyway what I'm trying to get at yep there was this very one person in the club that thought she had all the moves. Like she was rehearsing for the next big MTV video about to be released. What I'm trying to get at is that it ain't big and it ain't clever. Well for one drunken girls busting moves like there was tomorrow ain't attractive and sure ain't sexy. 2. Your just waiting to be a victim of....... That's right, abuse as in the abuse you would give to your mate who would step in some random dog crap in the street. OK not a good way of comparing it but you know what I mean.
Slurring words!
Man if your drunk, your better off trying to use sign language or even try speaking another language. As your piss whatever comes out just don't make sense. I dunno how barman ever know what a drunkard says half the time. Just seeing a random drunk in the street or on the bus I just dunno what the hell they say.
dgfeojcohodhohfhskhsdhh
Did that make sense?
maybe after a few it will. Go on have a couple and see if it does.
Not that I'm trying to promote alcoholism or anything.
OK that was a short blog I dunno what to write this week but this may interest readers. I'm going to make my blogs into a mini series that I will put up on YouTube I have already put up a pilot episode its called Retail Poo. Type that in it's the 1st thing that comes up lol.
It's in the style of Adam and Joe watch them on YouTube too. But I'll warn you guys I did it at 11pm on a sat night, unscripted and uncensored. It's amateur at it's best watch and enjoy here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd62YE3Tj3s
check it out people.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I got really drunk, I wouldn't be surprised if I got drunk and danced thinking I was the next Peter Stringfellow! Only at The hound and whore, teabag Tuesdays!
Can't really write too much on the night apart from having too many £1 bottles of Foster's is clinically proven to damage your health, with the LIVER first thing coming to my mind. Well when your out in the club people do tend to bust a move or 2 especially once they drunk. Is this the secret of a world class dancer, an undeniable secret source of confidence. Or just an excuse to bust them moves and not think about looking like a complete tosser?
Well being in a club full of binge drinkers (I include myself here) there is bound to be one person who thinks they are the next Micheal Jackson or your local football pub team cheerleader. Better yet your newest erotic dancer at your local pub turned strip club
"The Hound and Whore"
(that's just a made up pub/erotic club)
Anyway what I'm trying to get at yep there was this very one person in the club that thought she had all the moves. Like she was rehearsing for the next big MTV video about to be released. What I'm trying to get at is that it ain't big and it ain't clever. Well for one drunken girls busting moves like there was tomorrow ain't attractive and sure ain't sexy. 2. Your just waiting to be a victim of....... That's right, abuse as in the abuse you would give to your mate who would step in some random dog crap in the street. OK not a good way of comparing it but you know what I mean.
Slurring words!
Man if your drunk, your better off trying to use sign language or even try speaking another language. As your piss whatever comes out just don't make sense. I dunno how barman ever know what a drunkard says half the time. Just seeing a random drunk in the street or on the bus I just dunno what the hell they say.
dgfeojcohodhohfhskhsdhh
Did that make sense?
maybe after a few it will. Go on have a couple and see if it does.
Not that I'm trying to promote alcoholism or anything.
OK that was a short blog I dunno what to write this week but this may interest readers. I'm going to make my blogs into a mini series that I will put up on YouTube I have already put up a pilot episode its called Retail Poo. Type that in it's the 1st thing that comes up lol.
It's in the style of Adam and Joe watch them on YouTube too. But I'll warn you guys I did it at 11pm on a sat night, unscripted and uncensored. It's amateur at it's best watch and enjoy here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd62YE3Tj3s
check it out people.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I got really drunk, I wouldn't be surprised if I got drunk and danced thinking I was the next Peter Stringfellow! Only at The hound and whore, teabag Tuesdays!
Sunday, 22 February 2009
Crazy Man and the odd Foreign Customer.
OK I'll be true to my word and keep this short as nothing really happened this week to go mental about so her it goes:
Crazy Man
Or should I just say crazy people I should try an generalise it to, The odd normal person. As the way the I see things Weirdo's currently outnumber Normals. (that's right normal people now referred to NORMAL'S). Having worked on a slow Tuesday one highlight was a crazy man that came into the shop.
How was he crazy?
Well
1. he came up to me said a few things shook my hand and then hugged me,
2. he then went to one of the chairs and kinda hobbled over it like it was some kind of climbing frame
and finally 3. he stood in one corner and started dancing what a crazy mo fo.
If you think this is a random occurrence you'd be wrong retail always seems to get random Weirdo's. What's even more funny is watching other people's reaction's to the Weirdo. For example they will stare but make sure it's from a distance and the minute the Weirdo makes eye contact. BAM!!! They feel like they gotta get out of there. I'll be honest I do the exact same thing, as on Tuesday after he was in the shop I had to go out on my lunch and I just happened to see him and guess what I did. Yep you guessed it I walked the other direction.
Foreign Customers.
OK, This can go either way just like dealing with everyday fellow country men or folk how ever you want to say it without seeming so BLOODY PC! Anyway today I dealt with a foreign customer I'm guessing Mediterranean and I must say she was very humble towards me once she bought the shoes. One thing I've notice between Foreign particularly European and Homeland (again not sure how to phrase it lol) customers is that they are extra grateful. It's when this happens you forget about all the tossers and lying bastards you dealt with before.
So what I'll say is that if your willing to be patient and not so bloody ignorant to a foreign person they will actually show you with a bit of respect. OK there's that language barrier but a few hand gesture's and by simply listening to will end up sorting out the situation.
So this goes out to all ignorant F**cker's, just because you speak a different language don't make you better than someone and just treat them how you would want to be treated.
That's all I got this week didn't really know what to say like it is probably because I didn't have to deal with any dickheads or tossers
Observation James
:-)
p.s Having a dartboard in the staff room is what dreams are made of!
Crazy Man
Or should I just say crazy people I should try an generalise it to, The odd normal person. As the way the I see things Weirdo's currently outnumber Normals. (that's right normal people now referred to NORMAL'S). Having worked on a slow Tuesday one highlight was a crazy man that came into the shop.
How was he crazy?
Well
1. he came up to me said a few things shook my hand and then hugged me,
2. he then went to one of the chairs and kinda hobbled over it like it was some kind of climbing frame
and finally 3. he stood in one corner and started dancing what a crazy mo fo.
If you think this is a random occurrence you'd be wrong retail always seems to get random Weirdo's. What's even more funny is watching other people's reaction's to the Weirdo. For example they will stare but make sure it's from a distance and the minute the Weirdo makes eye contact. BAM!!! They feel like they gotta get out of there. I'll be honest I do the exact same thing, as on Tuesday after he was in the shop I had to go out on my lunch and I just happened to see him and guess what I did. Yep you guessed it I walked the other direction.
Foreign Customers.
OK, This can go either way just like dealing with everyday fellow country men or folk how ever you want to say it without seeming so BLOODY PC! Anyway today I dealt with a foreign customer I'm guessing Mediterranean and I must say she was very humble towards me once she bought the shoes. One thing I've notice between Foreign particularly European and Homeland (again not sure how to phrase it lol) customers is that they are extra grateful. It's when this happens you forget about all the tossers and lying bastards you dealt with before.
So what I'll say is that if your willing to be patient and not so bloody ignorant to a foreign person they will actually show you with a bit of respect. OK there's that language barrier but a few hand gesture's and by simply listening to will end up sorting out the situation.
So this goes out to all ignorant F**cker's, just because you speak a different language don't make you better than someone and just treat them how you would want to be treated.
That's all I got this week didn't really know what to say like it is probably because I didn't have to deal with any dickheads or tossers
Observation James
:-)
p.s Having a dartboard in the staff room is what dreams are made of!
Sunday, 15 February 2009
Disabled children and the refund!!! Not forgeting the tosser!
It's that time of the week again Sunday night and I ain't got anything better to do. So what have I been up to this week and what Observations have I made. Well to be honest I can't really think of anything that stick's out or comes to mind part from going out on Thursday.
O what an eventful night it was, caution to all reader's this bit talks about sexual abuse.
I know, tough topic.
Well this is what happened I was out with a few mates having a laugh and drink in a bar and we notice these guys. They were full on tossers all drunk and acting up. Basically they were by these 2 girls being drunk and hassling them, me being me started doing a dance basically taking the piss out of the one of them.
WARNING. People of a sensitive nature DO NOT READ:
So I did the dance and out of nowhere I was STRADDLED by his mate, that's right he was humping my back. I was violated, I'm now a victim of rape, of the male kind. Do you know what was worse about 10 min later after my ordeal I go into the toilet for a piss and he just happens to be at the urinal. As I'm mid flow he looks at me and says:
"Alright"
A guy clearly not phased by dry humping another man. What has our society now come to!
OK now for your weekly dose of Retail life.
What's worse than having to deal with a refund other than a customer having to use her disabled child as an excuse to get her refund on the day.
That was the scenario I had on Saturday. A customer ordered some shoes off the Internet and didn't have the right documents and I said that I would not be able to look at the shoes until she got the right proof of purchase. Anyway she then starts to demand the refund that day. Then OK, This is the big THEN.
She says, (I'll put this bold capitals):
"I want my refund today, I can't come in any other day. I want my refund NOW! I don't want to have to come in again because (this may shock you what she says) of my DISABLED CHILD"
at that point I'm thinking what the fuck, you just didn't use your disabled son as an excuse. Now that truly is some messed up way of trying to get a refund.
So people next time you need to be prioritised just tell em a member of your family is disabled or better yet. I've got a slight gammy hand can I get a refund.
That's all from
Observation James
:-)
p.s nest time your in a night club, if you wanna pull don't square up to the girl like your gonna hit her. That is noway smooth or charming!
O what an eventful night it was, caution to all reader's this bit talks about sexual abuse.
I know, tough topic.
Well this is what happened I was out with a few mates having a laugh and drink in a bar and we notice these guys. They were full on tossers all drunk and acting up. Basically they were by these 2 girls being drunk and hassling them, me being me started doing a dance basically taking the piss out of the one of them.
WARNING. People of a sensitive nature DO NOT READ:
So I did the dance and out of nowhere I was STRADDLED by his mate, that's right he was humping my back. I was violated, I'm now a victim of rape, of the male kind. Do you know what was worse about 10 min later after my ordeal I go into the toilet for a piss and he just happens to be at the urinal. As I'm mid flow he looks at me and says:
"Alright"
A guy clearly not phased by dry humping another man. What has our society now come to!
OK now for your weekly dose of Retail life.
What's worse than having to deal with a refund other than a customer having to use her disabled child as an excuse to get her refund on the day.
That was the scenario I had on Saturday. A customer ordered some shoes off the Internet and didn't have the right documents and I said that I would not be able to look at the shoes until she got the right proof of purchase. Anyway she then starts to demand the refund that day. Then OK, This is the big THEN.
She says, (I'll put this bold capitals):
"I want my refund today, I can't come in any other day. I want my refund NOW! I don't want to have to come in again because (this may shock you what she says) of my DISABLED CHILD"
at that point I'm thinking what the fuck, you just didn't use your disabled son as an excuse. Now that truly is some messed up way of trying to get a refund.
So people next time you need to be prioritised just tell em a member of your family is disabled or better yet. I've got a slight gammy hand can I get a refund.
That's all from
Observation James
:-)
p.s nest time your in a night club, if you wanna pull don't square up to the girl like your gonna hit her. That is noway smooth or charming!
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