Sunday 1 May 2011

Getting checked out hard!!!!

I'm on a roll with these blogs today and this one isn't actually about me my mate told me to write this one up I won't mention any names!

So set the scene. My mate is at work walks past this girl and she is checking him out giving him smiles and all that blatantly fancies him by the sounds of it. so he smiles back at her and you can tell there is some kind of chemistry possibly some animal magnetism! So she's about to buy something and she carries on staring at him at this stage it's fair to say she want's him and if it was up to her probably there and then. By this stage my mate is thinking yeah I wouldn't mind that at all, she's 20 and that! So he then goes to tell his work colleague that she keeps giving him sly lil looks of interest. Indicators of interest as it were.

So he tells his work colleague "look now as she's paying, it's her she's proper checking me out and I'd proper tap that"

So after she notices who he was on about she then tells him

"that's my sister! She's 17"

Man how awkward is that you've basically told the sister how much her sister is checking you out and then you've basically turned around and told her yeah she's fit and I wouldn't mind a piece. Awwwwwkaaarrrddd!

It's like being at a family party and then you proper fancy a mates mom and it happens to be your mates mom and you just did not realise it!

But from what I heard she still is in good nick for a 17 year lol. Ok is that slightly wrong, as I post this I will probably have the police knocking around asking for this guy! Now that would be awkward!

Bit of the old V.P.L and camel toe!

You know when your out and about and your just casually walking around nice sunny day and then you see these women with the tight legging bottom thingys! Then you notice there V.P.L (visible panty liner in case you didn't know it) I don't mind it but don't you find yourself just curiously start to stare maybe it's just me and then as your reading this your probably thinking bloody perv!

But if you out and about you will notice it and then can't help but look and stare, it's a natural reaction its in our genes we all do it!
So yeah thats all and good, then you notice one person who has them tight legging bottom thingys. Not only do you get the V.P.L but you also get an eye full of camel toe!

I'm sure your aware of camel toe, but surely if your gonna be wearing them bad boys your gonna at least check for that before you head out OK the V.P.L isn't bad but camel toe! Come on love it's like if I was gonna go swimming the last thing you'd want to see is my nuts hanging either side of my speedo's! As Lads can't help our bulge but I'm sure you can do something about that toe of yours!

Is that a fire alarm going off?!

So just another normal saturday afternoon working then BAM!

ALARMS GOING OFF AROUND ME AND MY FELLOW WORK MATES!

gonna have to evacuate the building as the fire alarms are blaring out loudly. Good thing it's a nice hot sunny day so we all leave the building to bask in the sunshine while the alarm just continues to go off! What gets me is that as we wait outside I'm getting an abundance of customers coming up to me as though I'm the fire marshall or something, was I giving off this aura of authority or something. I then preceed to get the similar questions that you would normally ask someone when there is a fire alarm going off.

What's going on?
When can we all go back in?
How long is it going to last?

OK heres my answers to your questions people of the public.....

1. There is a fire alarm going off so it's either going to be a fire or a test! You want me to be anymore blunt with you!

2. I don't know when you can go back in do I look like the fire marshall or something. If anything you can go back in when the alarm goes off or if the firemen put out the fire and then slowly rebuild the shop!

3. How long is a piece of string? I don't know how long it will last maybe when the firemen put out the fire or when the alarm stops!

People should think before they ask a question. These are the questions I may have asked:

1. Where is your manager or the fire marshall as you clearly are not either of the two?!

2. Is there a fire or is it a test? (that sounds more reasonable than being very vague)

3. Enjoy the sun cause it looks like you don't know how long you will be! (more of a statement than a question)

Oh yeah. One other thing to point out as the place does prints etc I'm guessing people started to worry about oooohhhhh my prints will be burnt to a crisp! Yeah maybe if you like old school photography and do it on 35mm film then you would probably be pretty fucked. For you guys that do it on digital you'd probably be pretty safe your pics would not be going up in a blaze of fire.

This being the day after the royal wedding and all that the customers outside are thinking damn ll those pics of the street parties will have been lost forever. EEEEEEKKKKK! Should have done it on digital then love!