Hey you GUYYYYYYSSSSSSSSS! As said by the one and only SLOTH from Goonies! I'm back yep thats rite observation JAMES.
I know your probably be thinking man where the hell have you been its been like 5 months lol.
well in case your wondering in the past few months I have actually got my act together and really sorted my life out lol. I'm sticking to my news years goals. If you remember from earlier past like say In January lol.
OK I may have lied a lil there I have stuck to a couple I will list the ones I'm not doing:
- Eat better and stay fit. Again this is a half truth here as 1. I am eating but not just as healthy as I had hoped, even though I eat more fruit ( big thumbs up there) 2. I've stopped going gym but, now its a big BUT.....
I EXERCISE USING THE WII FIT!!!!!!!!!!! and play footy lol
I can now do half moon! (yoga lovers will know what that is. Yep it's the easy one lol)
- Doing the Doc, due to circumstances I have not been able to do the travelling man adventures but I will do it, I told too many people to just back out lol. So I'm sticking to my guns and will one day travel on bus from top to toe of the UK.
So 2 out of 7 that I have not achieved so far says I'm sticking to it. For all you guys out there I finally managed to get a job in the media and I'm enjoying it part from the drive from Scotland back home and arriving at 3 in the Morning. Guess what I'm killing 2 birds with 1 stone I'm being productive everyday as I have to work. My new years goals is just pure genius as I can complete one part from another by getting a job lol.
OK OK as I am observation James who writes down what he sees I guess I'll have to write something down on my observations well the topic that I will put down that I have noticed are:
PEOPLE THAT SMELL ON THE BUS!!!
Bloody hell how hard is it to just freshen up, are buses beacons for the down and outs of society who could not afford to splash a lil bit of water on themselves. It doesn't help when the radiator is on full blast in the middle of summer it just puts the smell factor from a 9 - a 900. What is the deal with that man. Either people have no shame and don't care or there is a new fragrance out that I'm missing out on called
SCENT OF URINE, with the tag line. For all your toilet needs.
my final advice before I go for those of us that at least smells half decent if your ever on a bus with a riffer see it you can beat the smell by letting a sneaky one out.
THAT CAN BE MY CHALLENGE TO YOU.
I know it's been a while but I will make sure I do this regularly
bye bye people
Observation James
:-)
Monday, 10 August 2009
Sunday, 5 April 2009
Achieving a Goal while passing wind and collecting JUNK!!!
I know people it's been over a week, well technically 2 lol since I last was on here and that's right I have reached one of my year goals!
Yep one of my Goal's was to get a job in the media and I have done it finally whoop whoop!!! As we are in April it's taken me 4 months so not bad. Just gotta keep this job and work my bollocks off lol!! For people interested in what I'll be doing is Video editor and cameraman. If you want to see who I will be working for here's the link:
www.mybrumtv.co.uk
check it out I'll be doing videos that go on there etc.
So who's been passing wind?
Well working in retail your gonna get the odd person breaking the barrier between fresh and slightly pongee. Your service customers and then all of a sudden POW you have just walked into a dome of gas and every which way you go there is no escape. You may as well just bask in the fresh product! But your not the only one who notices it but when you look around you see other's with that slight pulled face as tho something just died clearly over exaggerating the fresh smell of the brew lol!
But it's always a funny one to see the customer's scatter from the point of origin leaving the culprit or possible innocent victim. When in fact it could have been one of the staff member's using the excuse:
"Man can you smell that? God that is ruff as!"
While that staff member walks off thinking ha ha ha I fooled him. That was the type you savour under your bed sheet lol!!!
It was JUNK collecting day by mine
Yep it was that time of year again when the council ask people to put there junk out front. So I did a massive clear out only to find, Yep that is right
RANDOM STRANGERS PICKING UP MY JUNK!!!!
Man, that saying is true one man's junk is another man's treasure. The whole point of junk is that it is JUNK. Rubbish you wouldn't normally throw out weekly but a broken chair, an old hoover etc. But as I watched out my window cars would pull up and rummage through the junk. OK picture this FAT WOMAN comes out of FIESTA (80's) with her fella in old 90's England shirt (not new retro one). Then take a look at what's on offer and then see my old Ironing board keep it up inspect it a lil and just as they are about to put it in the car.
BOOM!!!
They realize it is broken, the despair the confusion in the couples eyes and then they just throw it back realizing it was only JUNK!!!
So next time it's junk day just remember why it is there! You would normally rummage through my weekly rubbish collection would you?
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I will try and stay on top of these blogs! Promise!
Yep one of my Goal's was to get a job in the media and I have done it finally whoop whoop!!! As we are in April it's taken me 4 months so not bad. Just gotta keep this job and work my bollocks off lol!! For people interested in what I'll be doing is Video editor and cameraman. If you want to see who I will be working for here's the link:
www.mybrumtv.co.uk
check it out I'll be doing videos that go on there etc.
So who's been passing wind?
Well working in retail your gonna get the odd person breaking the barrier between fresh and slightly pongee. Your service customers and then all of a sudden POW you have just walked into a dome of gas and every which way you go there is no escape. You may as well just bask in the fresh product! But your not the only one who notices it but when you look around you see other's with that slight pulled face as tho something just died clearly over exaggerating the fresh smell of the brew lol!
But it's always a funny one to see the customer's scatter from the point of origin leaving the culprit or possible innocent victim. When in fact it could have been one of the staff member's using the excuse:
"Man can you smell that? God that is ruff as!"
While that staff member walks off thinking ha ha ha I fooled him. That was the type you savour under your bed sheet lol!!!
It was JUNK collecting day by mine
Yep it was that time of year again when the council ask people to put there junk out front. So I did a massive clear out only to find, Yep that is right
RANDOM STRANGERS PICKING UP MY JUNK!!!!
Man, that saying is true one man's junk is another man's treasure. The whole point of junk is that it is JUNK. Rubbish you wouldn't normally throw out weekly but a broken chair, an old hoover etc. But as I watched out my window cars would pull up and rummage through the junk. OK picture this FAT WOMAN comes out of FIESTA (80's) with her fella in old 90's England shirt (not new retro one). Then take a look at what's on offer and then see my old Ironing board keep it up inspect it a lil and just as they are about to put it in the car.
BOOM!!!
They realize it is broken, the despair the confusion in the couples eyes and then they just throw it back realizing it was only JUNK!!!
So next time it's junk day just remember why it is there! You would normally rummage through my weekly rubbish collection would you?
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I will try and stay on top of these blogs! Promise!
Monday, 23 March 2009
Smelly tramp and Religion vs Meat? You Decide
OK it's Monday night but am going to do this blog whether my life depended on it!
SMELLY TRAMP!!!
Yep, there was a real smelly tramp on the bus and he was pungent, we are talking stale PISS! The guy came on the bus and people actually had to get off the bus man it was that bad. This being Birmingham and the society that we currently live in there had to be one guy that had to speak up and make it know to people there was a smelly tramp on the bus like we didn't know for ourselves.
Anyway the guy has to speak up loud and say
"Man you f*cking smelly tramp get off the bus, you making people feel sick! You f*cking tramp"
Now imaging that in a Slang/rude boy accent lol. That's how he was saying it and if that wasn't bad. More people started saying sh*t to the guy and what I thought was quite embarrassing for the guy random stranger's started to spray the guy with lynx etc. The tramp actually stood there and let people spray him.
Man where is this guy's self respect to not let himself get to this stage. Even though his a tramp and people are well aware of this should people do this to a guy who smells so bad?
RELIGION vs MEAT
OK this may offend a fair few people! SO WARNING RIGHT NOW, I MAY OFFEND YOU WITH MY OPINIONS!!!
Well as you may know my mom is currently in hospital and therefore me and my sister have to fend for ourselves lol.
Well I've bought food and in the items I bought SAUSAGES and BACON. As you must all be aware these are PORK!!!!
I found out today that if I cook this my sister will not eat these. Do you know why because she hangs round with Asian people that do not eat pork. This is coming from a girl that spits on my door when angry and does not follow any religion!
OK this baffled me but got me thinking OK seeing as we are fending for ourselves would you avoid having to eat pork????!!!!
I respect all religion's out there but no matter how sacred an animal is to you are you willing to sacrifice your health for an animal? When your body clearly needs meat and vegetable to survive, that's how your body is made. I know people have the option to pick and choose what animal to eat but in some countries you don't have the luxury to eat whatever. So sometimes you may have to eat something that you may have never thought you would eat in a million year's.
Is it ignorant not to care for your own well being than to continually avoid a specific animal and starve yourself until that beloved meat that you can eat lands on your plate?
At the end of the day it is survival of the fittest.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s Have I caused a stir? If I have YES!!! and think about it before moaning at me!!
SMELLY TRAMP!!!
Yep, there was a real smelly tramp on the bus and he was pungent, we are talking stale PISS! The guy came on the bus and people actually had to get off the bus man it was that bad. This being Birmingham and the society that we currently live in there had to be one guy that had to speak up and make it know to people there was a smelly tramp on the bus like we didn't know for ourselves.
Anyway the guy has to speak up loud and say
"Man you f*cking smelly tramp get off the bus, you making people feel sick! You f*cking tramp"
Now imaging that in a Slang/rude boy accent lol. That's how he was saying it and if that wasn't bad. More people started saying sh*t to the guy and what I thought was quite embarrassing for the guy random stranger's started to spray the guy with lynx etc. The tramp actually stood there and let people spray him.
Man where is this guy's self respect to not let himself get to this stage. Even though his a tramp and people are well aware of this should people do this to a guy who smells so bad?
RELIGION vs MEAT
OK this may offend a fair few people! SO WARNING RIGHT NOW, I MAY OFFEND YOU WITH MY OPINIONS!!!
Well as you may know my mom is currently in hospital and therefore me and my sister have to fend for ourselves lol.
Well I've bought food and in the items I bought SAUSAGES and BACON. As you must all be aware these are PORK!!!!
I found out today that if I cook this my sister will not eat these. Do you know why because she hangs round with Asian people that do not eat pork. This is coming from a girl that spits on my door when angry and does not follow any religion!
OK this baffled me but got me thinking OK seeing as we are fending for ourselves would you avoid having to eat pork????!!!!
I respect all religion's out there but no matter how sacred an animal is to you are you willing to sacrifice your health for an animal? When your body clearly needs meat and vegetable to survive, that's how your body is made. I know people have the option to pick and choose what animal to eat but in some countries you don't have the luxury to eat whatever. So sometimes you may have to eat something that you may have never thought you would eat in a million year's.
Is it ignorant not to care for your own well being than to continually avoid a specific animal and starve yourself until that beloved meat that you can eat lands on your plate?
At the end of the day it is survival of the fittest.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s Have I caused a stir? If I have YES!!! and think about it before moaning at me!!
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Staying in an A & E, and looking for a shoe!
Oi Oi People it's Sunday night, Slightly later than usual. For that reason alone I'm keeping it short!
Yep I stayed in A & E
I had to take my mum dues to her being ill at the moment. Man you get all sorts in A & E and as it was a Friday night you had pissed up people and bloody guys who had been in a fight. I thought working in retail you get slightly quirky characters but A&E is the place to be if you want to see Crazy's!
One things for sure trying to sleep in A&E is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I've stayed in a train station. Now I sound like I love the HOBO lifestyle lol. But you try sleeping on a plastic chair in the ward and if not try the metal cold chairs in the waiting room. It's like trying to go sleep on your toilet!!!
So what do you do when you need a shoe with the most vague description ever?
That's the situation I had today and in many other occasions. The woman had a piece of paper giving me the description here's what it said:
Black Fred Perry Leather
How vague do you want to be? lol OK let's go through this step by step how to narrow down a shoe description:
1. Well its black (that's a start)
2. The make is Fred Perry (OK got a brand name)
3. Its made of leather (didn't realize leather is common in SHOES!!!)
That's as vague as me saying this is what I look like
I have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth. O yeah black eye browns. By the way my name is James!
Is that Vague?!
I know the customer probably doesn't know shoe details etc but maybe if you brought in a picture or showed me something similar that would probably help.
That's all from Observation James
:-)
p.s Next weeks might be slightly delayed but do not fret!!!
Yep I stayed in A & E
I had to take my mum dues to her being ill at the moment. Man you get all sorts in A & E and as it was a Friday night you had pissed up people and bloody guys who had been in a fight. I thought working in retail you get slightly quirky characters but A&E is the place to be if you want to see Crazy's!
One things for sure trying to sleep in A&E is the most uncomfortable thing ever and I've stayed in a train station. Now I sound like I love the HOBO lifestyle lol. But you try sleeping on a plastic chair in the ward and if not try the metal cold chairs in the waiting room. It's like trying to go sleep on your toilet!!!
So what do you do when you need a shoe with the most vague description ever?
That's the situation I had today and in many other occasions. The woman had a piece of paper giving me the description here's what it said:
Black Fred Perry Leather
How vague do you want to be? lol OK let's go through this step by step how to narrow down a shoe description:
1. Well its black (that's a start)
2. The make is Fred Perry (OK got a brand name)
3. Its made of leather (didn't realize leather is common in SHOES!!!)
That's as vague as me saying this is what I look like
I have 2 eyes, a nose, a mouth. O yeah black eye browns. By the way my name is James!
Is that Vague?!
I know the customer probably doesn't know shoe details etc but maybe if you brought in a picture or showed me something similar that would probably help.
That's all from Observation James
:-)
p.s Next weeks might be slightly delayed but do not fret!!!
Monday, 9 March 2009
No pounds coins and One Trampy Sister
Hi all I know it's not quite Sunday evening more like Monday afternoon. Didn't do the blog last night as I was shattered man plus was busy showing my mate the wisdom's of Facebook.
Anyhow for your weekly dose of retail:
No POUND coins!
That is exactly what the bank had said to the store when we needed change. Man when you heard there was a recession on you would at least think the bank would have pound coins. Or maybe due to panic people go out in there numbers and ask for their money specifically in pound coins. When my colleague told me the bank had no pound coins I was thinking,
O my there's gonna be a whole wide panic, front page news:
Bank has no POUND COINS!!!!!
OK that's slightly far fetched but you would think, come on you gotta have pound coins. There's nothing worse than having to give a customer a load of ten pence pieces and then say
"sorry we have no pound coins"
It's like putting in a shower and saying
"Sorry there is no water"
then having to substitute it with bottles of Volvic for a wash in the morning or going down the local gym for a wash.
NOW ONE TRAMPY SISTER
I wasn't going to write about this as I didn't know what to write about but due to my sister being a tosser this morning this deserves to be put in blog form and maybe a lil animation that I will make. Anyway that lil Bit*h (OK you probably sense hatred here, for people that know me they will understand. But who don't I CAN'T STAND HER) flipped out this morning at my mom for some gay reason and I said dickhead. Somehow she heard that from downstairs and flipped out even more calling me all sorts. Anyway after she left I went downstairs and when I came back to my room she did the most TRAMPY thing ever. That's right.......
SHE SPAT ON MY DOOR!!!!!
What kind of person does that, man it pissed me off so much there's nothing worse than spit for all I know there could be the bad aids in that bit of spit. To think she will be 18 this month and she calls me an Immature Prick, but with observations like these I think shes the prick!!!!
that's all from observation James
:-)
p.s sorry if I went over the top with my sister there BUT IT NEEDED TO BE SAID!!
p.p.s you can see this F*cker on facebook her name is KARAN MCMULLAN!!!!
Anyhow for your weekly dose of retail:
No POUND coins!
That is exactly what the bank had said to the store when we needed change. Man when you heard there was a recession on you would at least think the bank would have pound coins. Or maybe due to panic people go out in there numbers and ask for their money specifically in pound coins. When my colleague told me the bank had no pound coins I was thinking,
O my there's gonna be a whole wide panic, front page news:
Bank has no POUND COINS!!!!!
OK that's slightly far fetched but you would think, come on you gotta have pound coins. There's nothing worse than having to give a customer a load of ten pence pieces and then say
"sorry we have no pound coins"
It's like putting in a shower and saying
"Sorry there is no water"
then having to substitute it with bottles of Volvic for a wash in the morning or going down the local gym for a wash.
NOW ONE TRAMPY SISTER
I wasn't going to write about this as I didn't know what to write about but due to my sister being a tosser this morning this deserves to be put in blog form and maybe a lil animation that I will make. Anyway that lil Bit*h (OK you probably sense hatred here, for people that know me they will understand. But who don't I CAN'T STAND HER) flipped out this morning at my mom for some gay reason and I said dickhead. Somehow she heard that from downstairs and flipped out even more calling me all sorts. Anyway after she left I went downstairs and when I came back to my room she did the most TRAMPY thing ever. That's right.......
SHE SPAT ON MY DOOR!!!!!
What kind of person does that, man it pissed me off so much there's nothing worse than spit for all I know there could be the bad aids in that bit of spit. To think she will be 18 this month and she calls me an Immature Prick, but with observations like these I think shes the prick!!!!
that's all from observation James
:-)
p.s sorry if I went over the top with my sister there BUT IT NEEDED TO BE SAID!!
p.p.s you can see this F*cker on facebook her name is KARAN MCMULLAN!!!!
Sunday, 1 March 2009
Do you have a spare Mattress?
How could I forget!
Thursday night full of dreams and excitement, staying at the F1 hotel the Best(worst) place on Earth how often do you get a guy knocking on your room asking if you have a spare mattress. Then using that as a way to try and chat up some women. Firstly why do you need the mattress and secondly that ain't no way to whoo the ladies lol.
Don't forget to read my blog just below I had to write this!!!!
Observation James
:-)
p.s READ READ READ BELOW!!!!
Thursday night full of dreams and excitement, staying at the F1 hotel the Best(worst) place on Earth how often do you get a guy knocking on your room asking if you have a spare mattress. Then using that as a way to try and chat up some women. Firstly why do you need the mattress and secondly that ain't no way to whoo the ladies lol.
Don't forget to read my blog just below I had to write this!!!!
Observation James
:-)
p.s READ READ READ BELOW!!!!
Busting Moves and Slurring Words
Not much to write this week went out on Thursday, this was the highlight of my week and that's right from the title you guessed it I got drunk.
Can't really write too much on the night apart from having too many £1 bottles of Foster's is clinically proven to damage your health, with the LIVER first thing coming to my mind. Well when your out in the club people do tend to bust a move or 2 especially once they drunk. Is this the secret of a world class dancer, an undeniable secret source of confidence. Or just an excuse to bust them moves and not think about looking like a complete tosser?
Well being in a club full of binge drinkers (I include myself here) there is bound to be one person who thinks they are the next Micheal Jackson or your local football pub team cheerleader. Better yet your newest erotic dancer at your local pub turned strip club
"The Hound and Whore"
(that's just a made up pub/erotic club)
Anyway what I'm trying to get at yep there was this very one person in the club that thought she had all the moves. Like she was rehearsing for the next big MTV video about to be released. What I'm trying to get at is that it ain't big and it ain't clever. Well for one drunken girls busting moves like there was tomorrow ain't attractive and sure ain't sexy. 2. Your just waiting to be a victim of....... That's right, abuse as in the abuse you would give to your mate who would step in some random dog crap in the street. OK not a good way of comparing it but you know what I mean.
Slurring words!
Man if your drunk, your better off trying to use sign language or even try speaking another language. As your piss whatever comes out just don't make sense. I dunno how barman ever know what a drunkard says half the time. Just seeing a random drunk in the street or on the bus I just dunno what the hell they say.
dgfeojcohodhohfhskhsdhh
Did that make sense?
maybe after a few it will. Go on have a couple and see if it does.
Not that I'm trying to promote alcoholism or anything.
OK that was a short blog I dunno what to write this week but this may interest readers. I'm going to make my blogs into a mini series that I will put up on YouTube I have already put up a pilot episode its called Retail Poo. Type that in it's the 1st thing that comes up lol.
It's in the style of Adam and Joe watch them on YouTube too. But I'll warn you guys I did it at 11pm on a sat night, unscripted and uncensored. It's amateur at it's best watch and enjoy here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd62YE3Tj3s
check it out people.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I got really drunk, I wouldn't be surprised if I got drunk and danced thinking I was the next Peter Stringfellow! Only at The hound and whore, teabag Tuesdays!
Can't really write too much on the night apart from having too many £1 bottles of Foster's is clinically proven to damage your health, with the LIVER first thing coming to my mind. Well when your out in the club people do tend to bust a move or 2 especially once they drunk. Is this the secret of a world class dancer, an undeniable secret source of confidence. Or just an excuse to bust them moves and not think about looking like a complete tosser?
Well being in a club full of binge drinkers (I include myself here) there is bound to be one person who thinks they are the next Micheal Jackson or your local football pub team cheerleader. Better yet your newest erotic dancer at your local pub turned strip club
"The Hound and Whore"
(that's just a made up pub/erotic club)
Anyway what I'm trying to get at yep there was this very one person in the club that thought she had all the moves. Like she was rehearsing for the next big MTV video about to be released. What I'm trying to get at is that it ain't big and it ain't clever. Well for one drunken girls busting moves like there was tomorrow ain't attractive and sure ain't sexy. 2. Your just waiting to be a victim of....... That's right, abuse as in the abuse you would give to your mate who would step in some random dog crap in the street. OK not a good way of comparing it but you know what I mean.
Slurring words!
Man if your drunk, your better off trying to use sign language or even try speaking another language. As your piss whatever comes out just don't make sense. I dunno how barman ever know what a drunkard says half the time. Just seeing a random drunk in the street or on the bus I just dunno what the hell they say.
dgfeojcohodhohfhskhsdhh
Did that make sense?
maybe after a few it will. Go on have a couple and see if it does.
Not that I'm trying to promote alcoholism or anything.
OK that was a short blog I dunno what to write this week but this may interest readers. I'm going to make my blogs into a mini series that I will put up on YouTube I have already put up a pilot episode its called Retail Poo. Type that in it's the 1st thing that comes up lol.
It's in the style of Adam and Joe watch them on YouTube too. But I'll warn you guys I did it at 11pm on a sat night, unscripted and uncensored. It's amateur at it's best watch and enjoy here is the link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gd62YE3Tj3s
check it out people.
That's all from observation James
:-)
p.s I got really drunk, I wouldn't be surprised if I got drunk and danced thinking I was the next Peter Stringfellow! Only at The hound and whore, teabag Tuesdays!
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